You’re probably reading the title of this post and feeling… confused. I don’t blame you. In a way, so am I.
Last January, I was officially diagnosed. Depression and anxiety. Later, that diagnosis changed to ‘Obsessive Compulsive’. But that’s not what I’m discussing today.
I think my depression started in my final year of college. I was hurt, badly, by the friends that meant everything to me. Over night, I was on my own.
Being on my own started all of this. And after all this time, after all the heartbreak and pills and even suicidal moments, I can finally say…
I can’t thank them enough.
Depression has brought me closer to my wonderful family. In particular, my Mum.
Of course, she has been my best friend since birth (I love you) but having a condition as complex as this has brought us closer together than I could ever imagine. Yes, we still argue. Yes, we still get upset with each other and misunderstand the slightest things…
But we’re closer than ever now. And that’s amazing.
Depression has found me the most incredible person to love and confide in. He hates being mentioned on this blog but I keep ignoring him.
Sam, I would never have met you if it weren’t for depression. Not only that, but that incredibly difficult time we went through from January to Summer has made us closer than I could have ever imagined.
I think that if we can get through that, we can get through anything. You’re my world and I won’t ever let you go. You’re the most important person in my life. I can’t even explain how grateful I am for meeting you.
Depression has helped me find the real me. In those suicidal moments, when I hit rock-bottom, I had to build myself up again.
I jumped around from personality to personality, until I found myself again. That felt incredible.
It felt like I was an actor, taking my final bow and walking off stage and becoming myself. Like the play had been running for so long, for years! And then finally, it stopped.
Depression has taught me to love my body. Around the beginning of March, I was put on some medication that made me gain excessive amounts of weight in an extremely short amount of time. I went from a size 10 to a size 16 in 2 weeks.
As you can imagine, this was not at all good for my body confidence. But it’s gaining that much weight that’s made me learn to love myself. It was like starting afresh, with a whole new body and learning everything that made it great.
It’s taken a while, but my body is awesome and I can truly say that it makes me happy.
This post is a long and wordy one, but it’s important. I felt like my life had been ruined but instead it had been saved. It helped everything.
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I love you all,